Find rest...and be made whole.

As I was driving home from Alma, I was listening to one of Kari Jobe's songs that says, "Come find rest in Me, and be made whole," and I could not control the tears :). Something about that lyric was so refreshing, cleansing, and touching. I got to thinking about how some relationships of mine, a recent one to be more specific, have taken pieces of my heart that God has slowly had to mend back together. As I was looking ahead at how I wanted the new year to begin,I began crying out to God that He would allow this year to grow me and stretch me in so many ways that would grow me closer to Him. And then I heard that lyric. It's almost as if He were saying, "Jessica, Beloved, come FIND REST in ME, and you will be made WHOLE." To me, that said He would completely restore the broken pieces of my heart. If only I would seek out and find rest in Him. Find rest in my loneliness. Find rest in my chaos. Find rest in my fears. And doubts. In everything, really.

This New Years, I spent time with some of my best friends in Dallas. We brought in the new year together,and I have never been more confident that I wouldn't regret the people I brought it in with :). In such a short span of time, I learned so much about my past relationship. I learned that bitterness only burns the beholder. I learned that putting faith in God sometimes is more about obedience than feelings. I learned that love is not something to awaken until is so desires (Song of Solomon 2:7). I cherished time with friends. I rejoiced that a certain someone will not be a part of 2010. I smiled that all things will be made new (Revelation 21:5). I ate way too much. I spent way too much. I captured some fun memories:





Happy New Year!!! :)

My First Blog

I hadn't wanted to blog for a while, merely because I didn't think my life was all that interesting. But, sad to admit, I watched Julia and Julia last night and it totally confirmed my long, drawn out desire to blog. So here I am! Thank you Julie and Julia. I now base my decisions off movies.

The truth is, I have so much on my mind that would be better to write about instead of discussing meaningless casualities of my life to my friends about. I often think that my life could definitely succeed on reality TV. Not a joke. If it isn't the 15 to 18 year old substance abuse boys I counsel, it's what I'm learning in my Graduate Counseling Program. And if it's not that....it's my love life. Which is a totally predictable 22year old's love life. Complicated. Messy. Borderline mature. But not really.

Age twenty-two has definitely been the most eye-opening thus far. I've heard 26 is the next, so I guess I've got it coming for me. I used to think I knew it all. I thought I knew everything there was to know about love, life, and helping others...to an extent (c'mon, I never thought I was God or anything...). I have never been proved more wrong in my life. EVER. Twenty-two has slapped me in the face. Several times.

I started my first semester of grad school in what seems like yesterday, and apparently, I'm already finished. I am in a marriage and family therapy program. If anyone is ever interested in completely questioning everything they knew (or thought they knew) about life, choose this for a masters. With the exception of God and His Truth, everything else has been redefined this semester. Ask me how I feel about an violent male that is verbally aggressive toward woman, and I now say, "Everything makes sense in it's context." I analyze EVERYTHING. It's definitely not a strong point.

You know that feeling you get when you graduate high school and you feel unbelievably scared, yet undeniably inconquerable? That's me- minus the inconquerable part. I have never been more terrified of the journey ahead. God is constantly speaking His Truth over me claiming, "I have NOT give you a spirit of fear. But of POWER, and LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND." (2 Timothy 1:7) Sometimes it's hard to remember that promise. There are so many times it is all too easy to give in to fear and believe the lies that reappear in my life.

On a lighter note, Christmas is coming up, and tis the season to spread good cheer. So off I go. Spreading good cheer for all to hear! Be blessed.